she woke up with a sticky ear
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
