He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
