I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
