how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
