I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
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