all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
