Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
