at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
zippers are such a cool invention
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
