I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
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