i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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