Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
