her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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