one might say we're banned from that church
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
