Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
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