'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
i will never coherently bang her
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
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