You can't motorboat a personality
how do flat chested girls get laid?
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
