is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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