omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Randomize
