would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
