you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
My bed smells like the plague
Randomize
