i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
