so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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