She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Randomize
