i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
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