he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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