so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
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