ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
