just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
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