I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
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