Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
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