Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
