I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
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