Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Randomize
