What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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