I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
