I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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