Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Don't judge me šš¼ his dick just whispers my name
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Thereās an entire generation of people out there who didnāt grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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