i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
