Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
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