doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
