I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
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