drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
