what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
If I die, sorry about rent.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Randomize
