My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
