Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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