totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
