hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
