Only a mothe r could love this liver
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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