Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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