you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
and she was petting her beer can
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Randomize
