Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Watching her eat just hurts me
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
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