Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Randomize
