end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Randomize
